Motherland
Hodder Headline, paperback published 21st February, 2008
Life begins at forty? Not if it’s falling apart before you’ve even got there. Fran Clark, a stay-at-home mum, is approaching both her thirty-seventh birthday and the mother of all breakdowns.
A once brilliant voiceover artist, the talent hasn’t deserted her, only her self-belief. She could have it all, if only she could see it. But most days all she sees is the bottom of a wine glass. When her husband leaves her for another woman, she knows she has to stop the downward spiral before she completely self-destructs.
‘Write what you know,’ they say. Having two kids, Maria knows a lot about school-gate politics and it’s all gone into Motherland. In it she tempers her trademark humour with emotion and pathos. This is her third novel, although once the mums at her children’s school have read it, it may be her last.
(By the way, if you’re looking for this book in the USA, it’s called 37. Scroll down…)
‘Funnier than most of the ravaged old hen lit currently clogging up your local bookshop.’ heat
‘Fran’s situation and her first-person voice feel engagingly real.’ Daily Telegraph
‘I could barely put this book down.’ Woman’s Own
37
Voice, published 8th January, 2008
37 is what Maria always wanted to call the book known in Britain as Motherland, and her lovely American publisher duly obliged her. Apart from the title, though, it is exactly the same story. Well, aside from the fact that all the mobile phones have mysteriously turned into cell phones.
‘Brave, smart and true… A very intimate portrayal of how a woman can lose herself to the pitfalls of parenting.’ Amy Scheibe, author of What Do You Do All Day?
Marsha Mellow & Me
Arrow
This is the story of Amy who has written the ultimate shopping and shagging novel, only without the shopping. The book has become a publishing phenomenon, which is fantastic, right?
Er, no. Her mother is such a tyrannical prude that Amy hasn’t even dared to tell her she smokes. So she hides behind a pseudonym, hyperventilating as her book shoots up the charts. But for how long can she keep her secret once the tabloids launch a crusade to unmask the author’s true identity?
Marsha Mellow & Me is Maria’s first book. Not only is she very proud of it, but it also taught her a valuable lesson: never write a sleazy novel unless you’re prepared to put your name to it.
‘A right laugh that will keep you hooked to the end.’ Star magazine
‘A refreshingly different romantic comedy. Hilarious and entertaining.’ Closer
‘This month’s must-read; the girly wit of Kathy Lette meets lashings of raw sex.’ B magazine
MissFit
Arrow
MissFit is the hilarious tale of fitting in, keeping fit and one massive fit-up. Oh, and a fat Greek dad who has big dreams for his daughter, Charlie. Well, one big dream: a huge wedding to a rich and handsome Greek. Actually, scrub that. Any Greek will do.
But Charlie isn’t interested. She’s far keener on furthering her career at a five-star Soho fitness emporium – oh, and on the Nelly lookalike who’s hanging around reception. In between fighting off her father, she manages to land both a promotion and Nelly. But just when life couldn’t get any sweeter is the moment it all turns sour.
Maria laughed out loud at least twice during the writing of each chapter. Her work on the book also taught her a second valuable lesson: never trust a man when he says the video camera in the corner of the bedroom is switched off.
‘Very funny.’ heat
‘If you like your fiction in your face, Maria Beaumont hits the spot.’ Daily Mirror
‘A must-read.’ Company